From the daughter's heart

It is exactly 3 weeks since he opened his eyes to the angels of heaven. His last moment is still fresh in my mind. Just about the same time 3 weeks back, all the family members were sitting around him and praying the Quran. His eyes were half open staring at the wall in front of him. I lovingly called him "Papli" and got not response from him. The only indication that he was alive was the movement of his diaphragm. Time was ticking towards the night, and as much tired I was, there was no sleep in my eyes. I didn't want to lose sight of him. I just didn't want to! Suddenly, his eyes opened wide and he started breathing heavily, it felt like he was watching somebody up above. "The time has come" my cousin brother said.
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I had seen him deteriorate inch by inch in the past week. The last hug he gave me was on my anniversary day. He was already a little weak and was coping with a lot of pain. My sister and I had made plans for alternative treatment to give his body strength and immunity. We were planning a trip just after my anniversary to an Ayurveda place as well. But God had something different in mind. Like they say - Man proposes, God disposes!
The next day after my anniversary, he seemed completely zoned out. He had drifted into a sub-conscious mode and had completely stopped talking. His only response was through blinking his eyes. Mom looked strong on the outside, but I could see the turmoil in her eyes. The doctor visited us and after examining him said "Please inform everybody possible". Her estimate was that he would stretch it for a week max! Honestly, I do not have the words nor the courage to explain how the days have passed after that. All i knew was, my parents need me to be the strongest daughter ever; I was and I am! That one week we saw him cripple into a skeleton. From blinking eyes, to half open eyes staring into space. From frequent anxiety attacks to a motionless body. The Doc was right, he survived exactly a week after that.
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All through that week I was only praying to God to stop the torture and grant him relief and peace. But when my cousin uttered those words, I was not sure if I was prepared to handle that moment. For sometime, I moved away from the room. I made a list of people I had to immediately call once anything happened and gathered the courage by saying to myself "I need to see this through". I went back to his room and sat next to him. My elder aunt had taken him in her lap and had her palm on his chest. He kept breathing heavily and tears rolled down his eyes. I closed my eyes for a minute in prayer and when I opened, aunt said "I cant feel the heart beat".The entire room stood still. I looked at mom and saw here eyes fill up. I tried to see if his diaphragm was moving, no sign. Looked at his face, frozen. I shakingly held his wrist to feel the pulse, just one pulse and nothing. I stared at mom and said "No ma, nothing, I cant feel a thing". He was no more! He was my Dad.

A dream come true

 They say dream hard, dream a lot, dream something which will wake u up and make u achieve it, dream something which will bring tears to your eyes when they come true.

I spent the whole of last weekend with my parents. I got pampered and I pampered them. Mom was busy packing and I was busy executing her orders (hehe). Dad kept filling the house with savories, vegetables, eggs etc. for Zenab (she is going to be staying alone while they are out). I must tell you it was the funniest and most memorable weekend I have had. Oh btw, you must be thinking why I start about dreams when all I wanted to do was spend time with Mom and Dad? The actual dream was my parents’. They wanted to go on the pilgrimage that every Muslim longs to go on, the pilgrimage which has the most importance in any Muslim’s life. Yes, Mom and Dad were finally going for Haj!

When my sister and I started to work, our first and foremost goal was to get the family in good financial shape. Well we almost achieved that so we jumped to the next one and that was "Send Mom and Dad to Haj". We have been planning for this day for god-knows-how long. Beginning of this year, Maryam and I made up our mind that we will send Mom and Dad to Haj this year no matter what. The "no matter what" attitude really helped all the four of us to make it happen. There were a lot of people who had applied for Haj and we were just praying that our parent's application gets approved. It didn’t :(. But Mom didn’t lose hope, she went ahead and took all the possible recommendations to the Haj organizers and Mullahs and followed up every day to get their name approved. Fortunately (or unfortunate for somebody else) there was a cancellation and Mom and Dad got their approval! Hurray!!


After that Mom single handedly did most of the prep. From preparing a list of things needed to going for shopping and getting them :). She was motivated and enthusiastic, she was happy to see that she would be finally going for the trip she always dreamt of. Dad started his process of wrapping up work, so that there would be no unfinished business when he was out. Maryam and I were there to help wherever/whenever needed :) In fact, Mom and Dad were well prepared a month prior to their travel dates and the last few days before the trip were simply spent in spending time with each other and relaxing :)

Just the day before the travel, I felt anxious; I was worried about my parents having a safe trip. People who have been to Haj before have told loads of good and bad stories. They say going to Haj is life changing and I was hoping they would just be fine. This year they are expecting around 35 lakhs of people there, huge enough crowd to get lost and never be found :(. I am sure Mom and Dad are equally tensed. But they are being brave enough to make this trip.

On Monday Morning (Oct 3rd 2011) Mom and Dad woke up early, said their prayers and started getting ready for the long trip. They had to be in complete white from head to toe; White burkha, white chappal, white specs (the thread), white bag. It was an absolute overwhelming moment to see the dream come alive :). It surely brought tears of happiness in our eyes. Here's wishing them a successful and a life changing Haj!