It is exactly 3 weeks since he opened his eyes to the angels of heaven. His last moment is still fresh in my mind. Just about the same time 3 weeks back, all the family members were sitting around him and praying the Quran. His eyes were half open staring at the wall in front of him. I lovingly called him "Papli" and got not response from him. The only indication that he was alive was the movement of his diaphragm. Time was ticking towards the night, and as much tired I was, there was no sleep in my eyes. I didn't want to lose sight of him. I just didn't want to! Suddenly, his eyes opened wide and he started breathing heavily, it felt like he was watching somebody up above. "The time has come" my cousin brother said.
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I had seen him deteriorate inch by inch in the past week. The last hug he gave me was on my anniversary day. He was already a little weak and was coping with a lot of pain. My sister and I had made plans for alternative treatment to give his body strength and immunity. We were planning a trip just after my anniversary to an Ayurveda place as well. But God had something different in mind. Like they say - Man proposes, God disposes!
The next day after my anniversary, he seemed completely zoned out. He had drifted into a sub-conscious mode and had completely stopped talking. His only response was through blinking his eyes. Mom looked strong on the outside, but I could see the turmoil in her eyes. The doctor visited us and after examining him said "Please inform everybody possible". Her estimate was that he would stretch it for a week max! Honestly, I do not have the words nor the courage to explain how the days have passed after that. All i knew was, my parents need me to be the strongest daughter ever; I was and I am! That one week we saw him cripple into a skeleton. From blinking eyes, to half open eyes staring into space. From frequent anxiety attacks to a motionless body. The Doc was right, he survived exactly a week after that.
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All through that week I was only praying to God to stop the torture and grant him relief and peace. But when my cousin uttered those words, I was not sure if I was prepared to handle that moment. For sometime, I moved away from the room. I made a list of people I had to immediately call once anything happened and gathered the courage by saying to myself "I need to see this through". I went back to his room and sat next to him. My elder aunt had taken him in her lap and had her palm on his chest. He kept breathing heavily and tears rolled down his eyes. I closed my eyes for a minute in prayer and when I opened, aunt said "I cant feel the heart beat".The entire room stood still. I looked at mom and saw here eyes fill up. I tried to see if his diaphragm was moving, no sign. Looked at his face, frozen. I shakingly held his wrist to feel the pulse, just one pulse and nothing. I stared at mom and said "No ma, nothing, I cant feel a thing". He was no more! He was my Dad.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Friday, August 9, 2013
Name Calling
There I was at the
Seattle Tacoma international airport waiting at the gate for my ride to come and take me home. I settled down in one of the comfy spots and started looking
around me. Out of 7 rows of chairs filled with passengers, I spotted way too
many Desis and probably 5 Firangs. Thinking about it, The Desis are the
Firangs in this country(US) and the so-called Firangs are Desis here. Applying
that logic, that place was actually filled with way too many Firangs ;) Never
mind.
Ahem! Moving on with
my story - I was sitting there making my last few 'Good bye' calls to
my friends and suddenly the Emirates announcement starts which went (something
like this) - "Hello Emirates blah blah paging Naraaayaanaa, Ramaaaswaaaram"..
and a lot more other people. She just killed all the Indian names in the best
way possible! I was on the phone with my jiju and both of us just couldn't stop laughing! What started next was a situation story which I had
to tell and show off :P So here it goes...
This was my first
time ever to the States. I was travelling to NJ via Air France. We were just
landing at Paris and my connecting flight to NJ was an hour away. The air
hostess on the flight started to announce all the names who had to take the next
flight as they had a separate bus arranged to take us to the flight directly.
If you don’t know, my full name is SAKINA KHUZEMA ADEEB. Though my first and
last names are pretty straight forward, the middle name is complicated.
The air hostess
announced a series of random names and amidst those I heard "Kujima
Aaadib". "Damn! it sounds so
familiar" I thought. She probably repeated it 5 times before I
realized it was me!! I hastily walked
towards her and said "I think that is Khuzema?". Her face literally glowed in happiness. She
smiled at me and said "Finally! Somebody came!". I thought, "Yeah right, if you
screw up names nobody will show up". Actually, cant blame her. She was French and
English was not even her second language. Her calling out a list of Indian names is like me riding a CBR! Not gonna happen without disastrous results.
I was standing next
to her watching her break into a sweat and
read out names in a way I have never ever heard. I took the list from
her hand and saw names like "Venkataraman", "Srinivasan",
"Ananthamurthy". I felt sorry
for her and offered to help. Without any hesitation she handed over the Mic to
me and there I was calling out names as if I knew these guys from childhood.
All of them started coming in front and boarded the bus waiting for us. The air
hostess was so relieved that she gave me a hug and said "Thank
you!!!" (in her French accent of course).
Proud is what I felt!
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Cousin Connection
Recently one of my cousin sisters sent this message which read -
This message just struck me like a lightning bolt! "So true!" I exclaimed. I have grown up with my cousin sisters around me (especially mom's side family). We used to stay in close vicinity and would spend an entire weekend at each other's place doing nothing! Back then, we (luckily) fitted into each other’s clothes and would shamelessly dig into each other's closet. There have been numerous occasions where we have confused our parents as we would look identical in each other’s clothes. Well, we don’t do this anymore; we neither stay in close vicinity nor do we fit into each other’s clothes ;)
Coming to think of it, my cousin sisters and I share many similarities. Some of them are because these traits are running in the veins and arteries of the family tree
>We are totally self-obsessed; we get ready and stare at the mirror until we impress ourselves!
> We love posing for pictures and clicking millions of self-photos (in the 5 star hotel loo of course)
> We love food - one likes to cook, the other likes to take a pic of it and the other likes to eat. Well the love for food from different angles! (HEHE..keep guessing who is who ;)..)
> We LOVE HANDBAGS - I don’t think we have realized this as a group of cousins, but each of us separately drool over handbags and long for having a cupboard full of it!
> If you haven’t guessed this one already, we can oscillate between being "Gaandi" (Mad) to "dhai deekri" (obedient/silent/calm gal)
> We love giving "dhamki" - well not in the serious way of course, this is a bi-product of our nautanki character ;)
This list goes on-and-on. So, while I sit and figure out this list, why don’t you go ahead and probably send the same message to your long lost cousin :)
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